Father's Day
This post has been delayed for a year. =PIt was Father's Day that Sunday, and my pastor, Reverend Barnabas Chong, who has since left us for another church, had talked about what FATHER stands for.
But I forgot what he had said, and wasn't quick enough to take it down then =P
The gist of his sermon included: relationships are of great importance to God (Ephesians 6:4), and that the enemy is adept at creating disconnected relationships.
God's Word says: And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4
This means that fathers should not exasperate their children by not spending time with them, having high expectations, and not keeping their promises to their children. These are quite commonsensical points. One other important point worth elaborating on is that fathers should expect change in their children as they grow and develop into adults. Rev Chong had brought up the following example:
A child is scolded by his father for being immature. He thus tries to change. However, his father continues to be biased and thinks that his child will not change, and tries to pre-empt his child's "immature" behaviour by chiding him. Eventually, the child says, "Dad, I've changed. But you haven't."
Parents (not just fathers) should thus always try to pay attention to whether their child has changed for the better and change their own mindsets about their children according to their development.
"Wait" is also a word that parents should not always use to their children. Can you imagine how it would be like for a child who excitedly wants to show his parent a thing he finds interesting, but is always told to wait? The word "wait" would thus, with time, turn into a deterrent. The child may stop wanting to show his parent his new experiences, and their relationship would sour/never improve.
Where possible, parents should be patient with their children and devote their attention to them wholeheartedly. Some things cannot afford a "wait".
That's not saying that parents should give in to their children so much that they spoil them. "Wait" should be used to teach children respect. As the saying goes, everything should be done in moderation. If a child interrupts his parent's conversation with someone else and gets the attention he wants all the time, he will grow up to be a rude child. And this example explicates my point clearly.
Further elaborating on "wait", it is a powerful tool that the devil may use to take us away from our relationships with others. Parents may be deceived that their work, for instance, is more important than a whining child who yearns for a playmate/attention. They may also think that they need to work more to earn more for a higher level of comfort for the family so as to make them happier.
This is a very ubiquitous distraction that creates rifts in our relationships with others. Fathers may think: My wife can take care of and teach the children. This is a terribly wrong mindset. Both parents are just as responsible for their children! In time to come, who has the father to blame if he realises that he has missed out on the most important stages of his children's childhood and failed to bond with them?
This distraction also prevents us from spending enough quality time with our loved ones. This is an expansion of the previous point on bonding. Quality time makes for bonding and bonding is what lets us feel close to others emotionally. Who can fathers blame if they fall into the trap of this distraction and their children run to everyone but them for emotional comfort? It is moderately alright if their children seek comfort from God, their mother, relatives and good friends, but what if their children seek comfort from bad company?
No matter what, children need their parents to be involved in their lives all the time, and fathers should try as far as possible not to allow themselves and their families to fall into the devil's trap (because he knows that relationships are important to God, and thus he wants to destroy as many relationships as he can).
Father's Day is coming up soon. Not all of us have wonderful fathers, but perhaps we could take the initiative to mend the bond (if it is broken), somehow, at our own pace. Nothing is too late. It just depends on how you do it, and the will to do so...pray for the strength to do so too =)
Labels: father's day
posted by andriTz* @ 7:50 PM
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